being a feminist mum guest blog by www.thefeministshop.com

Pink is my favourite colour. I think it always has been, and funny enough it is my son’s favourite colour as well. He likes it mainly because my hair is pink and it reminds him of me, but he is blissfully ignorant to the fact that pink is a colour that is also a statement, and not any statement, but one that defends one thing and the opposite at the same time. I have always been a so-called ‘girly girl’, I loved playing with dolls, princesses, I have watched every romantic comedy going and I know all Disney songs by heart so I guess pink was just in the bag with all those things, and I liked it. I like pink now as a shout against the narrow boxes of what girls need to look like and love, but also as reivindicacion that all those things are nothing to be ashamed of. Pink to me means the reinvention of what being a woman is, what being a feminist is and on top of it all I genuinely really like the colour.

feminist women

I love being in yoga pants, even in my grey comfy tracksuit bottoms, and that is ok. I also like how I look with makeup and tight trousers, and that is also ok. I love seeing women with mini skirts and women with baggy trousers, with their hair perfectly styled and with a lazy pony tail. I don’t preassume that any of them are not feminist because despite general opinion there is nothing wrong being feminist and fabulous. There is no single ‘correct’ way to be feminist, and it definetely doesn’t come with an uniform!

When my husband and I created our website, www.thefeministshop.com, we wanted to shout to the world that feminism is not a strict way of doing/living/thinking but the simple defense of equal rights and opportunities, and to us that means choices. It is not a VIP club, it is a journey.

mum and baby

It is important to understand that a lot of the choices that we make are massively pushed by society, but it doesn’t mean that we need to reject them, we might actually love them, but being conscious of that reality makes our choices more informed and broad. To me, understanding that I was expected to do certain things has liberated me from doing them; other times it has reassured me that I enjoy them, and most times this understanding just helps me navigate life by learning and unlearning and working out what is best for me. I know that as a parent I want my kids to have those choices and options from the very beginning, and I am also learning how difficult it is to neutralise the multilayered power of society to shape them.

I remember when Eric was born I had a box of chocolates ready for the first person who gave us card that wasn’t baby blue. It took me several days to give it away, and it became some sort of obsession opening those envelopes just to find another elephant with the words ‘Boy’ in balloons. I had another surprise gift ready for the lucky one who avoided baby pink or the word ‘Girl’ when Nora was born, and you would imagine that people knew me by then, but it still wasn’t an easy task...Their presents were different, their clothes, the colours, the animals in their pyjamas, and it was all decided for them.

pink hair

And it breaks my heart now every time Nora gets a new bag of hand-me-downs and Eric sees the pink jackets in the bag and desperately wants one. I wish they were his size, but he always has to compromise with the greys, and the blues and browns that we get from older boys. Nora gets dinosaurs too sometimes, but they tend to be smiling, and with crowns, and they are pink or purple, and I wonder why we feel the need to ‘soften’ them for girls, and why we consider that anything pink is cute and not brave or fierce.

I love the feminism of choices, the one were beauty queens speak about the need of teaching leadership to little girls, and were badass football stars demand equal pay and don’t shy from celebrations and occupying space. I love women supporting different kinds of women and understanding that the differences are not measured in wrong or right. I love how things are changing and the almost touchable sorority between us because we see each other as part of one. Society has somehow made us a minority even if we are the 51% and we are using that sisterhood to fight back. 

I love seeing myself in the mirror, with my pink hair and feeling brave and fierce, because we are reinventing fabulous!